Here’s a brief look at what we did…

Layout of the Room:  We have all the students divided into table groups by grade and gender.   We typically have 8 students and 1-2 leaders per table.

Opening:  5 minutes of hang time followed by a 5-minute countdown.  From the countdown we immediately transition to the worship band onstage. 

Anthem/Opening Worship:  We typically start with an “anthem” song or a cover.  This week we used Flo-Rida’s “Good Feeling” song for our countdown.  The band transitioned from the video to playing the song live.  They did a GREAT job of covering the song (even having Leo, one of our middle school students play an incredible sax part)!  The only misstep was that they allowed the Flo-Rida version to stop before launching into their version.  The tempo’s and key matched, so I wish we could have gone seamlessly from one to the other.  Next time…

Following the opening song the band played another song.  One of my favorites…Tony’s version of “How Great is Our God” mixed with a little Arcade Fire. 

Announcements: This week we did another room raid video for our announcements.  The video can be seen here (http://youtu.be/7nrUH-qZb_w).  *I have some thoughts about right and wrong ways to do a room raid…I’ll post those later.

Game:  Sticking cheese balls to the face of a student who is covered in shaving cream.  We make it into a competition, with the winning grade/gender group getting a huge handful of candy.  Not our most creative game, but the kids loved it and were still talking about it after service.

Message:  Week 1 of “Praxis”.  I’m using this series to introduce our new branding and to talk about community.  We have “table time” (small group discussions in their table groups) built in to the teaching time, which is split into three parts.

Overall the lesson went well…the intro was the weakest part (a bit too repetitive), but the application and Biblical truth both landed well and seemed to stick.

Closing Worship:  Really solid time of worship.  The students loved the new band (much bigger band and a much bigger sound) and they really liked the space that we created for them in front of the stage.  

Send Out:  We have a robot named Charlie.  Charlie’s purpose is to help us with clean up time, reinforce the key message or big idea of the day, and to send us off with a dance party.  Unfortunately, when Charlie’s voice doesn’t work right, none of that other stuff does either.  Enough said.

Overall:  A great Sunday.  Our attendance was back up after a crazy December, and it feels like the students and leaders were really excited about the new name and the new elements in the service.  Moving forward we’ve got to figure out a better solution for Charlie’s voice, continue to get more adult leaders plugged in and work on tightening our transitions.

• The Lab - Daily, practical things that come from "in the trenches" middle school youth workers.  Some work, some don't - that's why it's called "the lab". 

• Monday Morning - reflections from Sunday - hits, misses and everything in between. 

• QQ's - quick questions from you answered by your peers in middle school ministry and left open to further discussion via online community.

• Deeper - thoughts relating to theology and praxis in middle school ministry.

• The Main Event - reviews, resources, thoughts and ideas for events in middle school ministry.

• Stuck Stuff - reviews and profiles of resources, movies, music, games, breakfast cereals and pretty much anything that applies to a middle school student's world.

• Tweeks - Tweets of the week.  Tweeted by you, reposted by us.

• Random - a "catch all" category for anything else we want to post.  Because we're awkward and random like that.

Your kid’s an All Star? Wow! Someday he’ll be average like the rest of us. 

The church in America is puzzled. Young adults are leaving in droves. Magazines, books and blogs are wagging the finger of blame to point out who is responsible. Some say it is a failure of youth ministry, some point to church budgets and some nail the blame on outdated, unhip worship services. We parents are shocked that our kids just really aren’t all that into Jesus.

When I look for someone to blame I head into the restroom and look into a mirror. Yupp, there he is. I blame him. That parent looking back at me is where I have to start.

If you’re a parent, I’m might tick you off in this post. But, hear me out. I think that we, as parents are guilty of some things that make it easy for our kids to put faith low on their priority list.

Keys to Making Your Kids Apathetic About Faith

1) Put academic pursuits above faith-building activities. Encourage your child to put everything else aside for academic gain. Afterall, when they are 24 and not interested in faith and following Christ, you’ll still be thrilled that they got an A in pre-calculus, right? Instead of teaching them balance, teach them that all else comes second to academics. Quick … who graduated in the top 5 of your high school class? Unless you were one of them, I bet you have no idea. I don’t.

2) Chase the gold ball first and foremost. Afterall, your child is a star. Drive 400 miles so your child can play hockey but refuse to take them to a home group bible study because it’s 20 minutes away.

2b) Buy into the “select,” “elite,” “premier” titles for leagues that play outside of the school season and take pride in your kid wearing the label. Hey now, he’s an All-Star! No one would pay $1000 for their kid to join, “Bunch-of-kids-paying-to-play Team.” But, “Elite?!?” Boy, howdy! That’s the big time!

2c) Believe the school coach who tells you that your kid won’t play if he doesn’t play in the offseason. The truth is, if your kid really is a star, he could go to Disney for the first week of the season and come back and start for his school team. The determined coach might make him sit a whole game to teach him a lesson. But, trust me, if Julie can shoot the rock for 20 points a game, she’s in the lineup. I remember a stellar soccer athlete who played with my son in high school. Chris missed the entire preseason because of winning a national baseball championship. With no workouts, no double sessions, his first day back with the soccer team, he started and scored two goals. Several hard-working “premier” players sat on the bench and watched him do it. (Chris never played soccer outside the school season but was a perpetual district all-star selection.) The hard reality is, if your kid is not a star, an average of 3 new stars a year will play varsity as freshmen. That means there’s always 12 kids who are the top prospects. Swallow hard and encourage your kid to improve but be careful what you sacrifice to make him a star at little Podunk High here in Maine.

2d) By the way, just because your kid got a letter inviting him to attend a baseball camp in West Virginia does not mean he is being recruited. You’ll know when recruiting happens. Coaches start calling as regularly as telemarketers, they send your kid handwritten notes and they often bypass you to talk to your kid. A letter with a printed label from an athletic department is not recruitment. When a coach shows up to watch your kid play and then talks to you and your kid, that’s recruiting.

3) Teach your kid that the dollar is almighty. I see it all the time. Faith activities fly out the window when students say, “I’d like to, but I have to work.” Parents think jobs teach responsibility when, in reality, most students are merely accumulating wealth to buy the things they want. Our kids learn that faith activities should be put aside for the “responsibility” of holding a job. They will never again get to spend 100% of their paychecks on the stuff they want.

3b) Make them pay outright for faith activities like youth retreats and faith community activities while you support their sports, music, drama and endeavors with checks for camps and “select” groups and expensive equipment. This sends a loud and clear message of what you really want to see them involved in and what you value most. Complain loudly about how expensive a three-day youth event is but then don’t bat an eye when you pay four times that for a three-day sports camp.

4) Refuse to acknowledge that the primary motivating force in kids’ lives is relationship. Connections with others is what drives kids to be involved. It’s the reason that peer pressure is such a big deal in adolescence. Sending kids to bible classes and lectures is almost entirely ineffective apart from relationship and friendships that help them process what they learn. As kids share faith experiences like retreats, mission trips and student ministry fun, they build common bonds with one another that work as a glue to Christian community. In fact, a strong argument can be made that faith is designed to be lived in community with other believers. By doing all you can to keep your kids from experiencing the bonds of love in a Christian community, you help insure that they can easily walk away without feeling like they are missing anything. Kids build friendships with the kids they spend time with.

5) Model apathy in your own life. If following Jesus is only about sitting in a church service once a week and going to meetings, young adults opt out. Teenagers and young adults are looking for things that are worth their time. Authentic, genuine, relevant relationships where people are growing in relationship with Jesus is appealing. Meaningless duty and ritual holds no attraction.

There are no guarantees that your children will follow Christ even if you have a vibrant, purposeful relationship with Him. But, on the other hand, if we, as parents do not do all we can to help our children develop meaningful relationships in Jesus, we miss a major opportunity to lead them and show them the path worth walking.

I want my kids to see that their dad follows Jesus with everything. I want them to know that my greatest hope for them is that they follow Him too.

Mt. 6:33 Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. (The Message)

On a personal note: I know the struggle. My wife and I have lived the struggle firsthand. My son was recruited by a few D1 NCAA schools for baseball and opted instead to attend a small D3 school. My daughter was recruited to play field hockey by a couple D2 programs and ended up playing D3 when the scholarship offer was not enough to make her top school affordable. Both played in “premier” leagues. Both got A’s in high school though we often told them not to stress out too much over it. Both are in honor societies in college and my son now has offers from UNC, Univ. of Wisconsin, Johns Hopkins and Weil Cornell for a Phd in Pharmacology. Neither ever missed a youth group retreat, conference or mission trip because of their sports or academic commitments. Both missed a game or two to attend faith-based activities. Both missed school for family vacations. Both held down part-time jobs in high school and learned to give employers advance notice for upcoming retreats. My son often changed into his baseball uniform at church to arrive in the third inning of Sunday games. Robin and I did all we could to make sure they connected in student ministry even when it meant driving straight from a tournament to a music festival at midnight so that they would not miss out. It was that important to us. My youngest, a culinary student, lost a restaurant job because he went on a mission trip. That’s fine. Thankfully, all 3 have strong faith walks today. That is due only to God’s grace. But, I do believe that our efforts and example helped them long for a community-based faith.

These principles tell us how to act with all people, of all ages, including students, and they should define our ministry and all of our interactions with students, parents, leaders, everyone.

Be Loving and Compassionate
(John 13:34-35; John 15:12, 17)

Every interaction we have with students must rest on love. Perhaps this is ambiguous, but I don’t think it’s as complicated as we make it. The rest of the one another’s fill in the details.

Serve one another
(John 13:14, 2Corinthians 13:12)

Your ministry is not for you or your senior pastor. It’s not for you to make a name for yourself, or be the biggest game in town. You are there for your students, to minister to them how God would have you. Are you really serving them?
Your students should look to you and their leaders like the disciples looked at Jesus when he washed their feet. “You are older, wiser, and in charge. I should learn from and serve you. Surely, you’re not washing my feet!” Our students should be amazed at how we humbly serve them. A culture like this would not make an arrogant group of students that feel entitled, but rather, as we see in the disciples, a group that replicates.

Be patient and bear with one another
(Ephesians 4:2, Colossians 3:13)

Working with students can be hard. A volunteer in my ministry said to me recently, “It’s the drama that kills me! All students see is their little world! It’s not as dramatic as they think!”

While I agree with this leader, she touches something interesting beside her point. Our call to be patient and bear with one another assumes that there will be students in our lives that are hard to bear and that draw out our patience. In short, they create our drama. Many of you have specific students in mind already.

But we look to Christ here. Certainly, no student is any more obnoxious, unnecessarily dramatic, or flaky with us than we are with Christ. Yet he bears with us and is continually patient toward us. We’re also called to forgive (Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13), which prevents ongoing bitterness or frustration with our students.
Which leads us to:

Don’t grumble against or slander one another
(Philippians 2:14, James 4:11, 5:9)

It is very easy in youth ministry to unload some of the burdens of ministry by complaining about students. While this is tragic, it’s a reality many of us fall into.
Even in our greatest frustrations and letdowns, our words about our students should be honoring and uplifting. There are times when hard truths need to be spoken, but that is usually to the student and/or their parent. Not about them to our spouses, co-leaders, or other pastors.

Pray and Confess Sin
(James 5:16)

This is a short and simple point: you need to provide regular opportunities for your students to confess sin, pray, and be prayed for. Students are often slow to do these things, so to do them in haste, and not patiently allow intentional times for this kind of depth, is to set them up to fail.

Teach, Admonish, Instruct
(Romans 15:4, Colossians 3:16)

We should be teaching our students from the Word regularly and consistently. But we’re also called to admonish, encourage, and build up our students (1 Thessalonians 4:18, 5:11; Hebrews 3:13, 10:25). It’s not always “studious” teaching we’re called to. Often, it’s life we’re teaching them - encouraging them in their faith, counseling them through struggles and failures, and sometimes just downright cheerleading.

Youth ministry presents new challenges all the time, and while every student is just a little different, Scripture, and the God that breathed it, are and will always be the same. Where God calls us, he equips us, and if we will listen to His word, he can work through us to yield a powerful and effective ministry.

Dustin Nickerson is the Youth and Children’s Director at Mars Hill Church Bellevue. He has been working with junior high and high school students for 6 years in the Seattle area. Dustin is married to his wife of 6 years, Melissa, and is the father to Joel (3) and Gloria (8 months).